“I can’t stay for drinks. I’m going to Yoga tonight.” That’s what I tell my colleague at work. He’s a 6 foot tall engineer who has coded his life with strings of simple formulae. Such as; drinking beer is a fundamental variable in the “being a real man” equation, and practicing yoga is a function that can only be appropriate for women. These were early days before yoga became a commonly acceptable practice.
So he smirks and walks off to have beers with the other guys. I smile and walk off to explore my feminine side.
Fortunately for me, peer pressure is about as significant as a mountaineer is to Mount Everest. But as I reflect upon my life, I realize that it isn’t the case for others. Not all men or women speak their hearts without a care of being judged or mislabeled. But all hearts are wanting to be heard. Though it is not direct, it appears to be distinct. So I want to honor the heart of this aspect of life.
Voices Behind the Veil
“Let’s drink! Let’s party! Let’s get pissed!!”
(It’s too painful to feel. I can’t bear this. )
“You joining us for drinks tonight …?”
(As long as I’m not alone, I’ll be alright.)
(What will people think of me if I don’t?)
“No sorry, I got other plans.”
(There, I said it. It’s done, I hope.)
“What do you mean? Stay for a bit. Don’t leave!”
(Don’t abandon me, please?)
“No. I really can’t. I’m seeing someone tonight.”
(Drop it. I’m not looking to fight.)
“Really? Why don’t you bring him?”
(The one I thought was the one left me
… it hurt.
What makes you think he’s going to be any different?)
“That’s so kind. Thanks for offering! But it’s okay. We got plans.”
(Stop making it harder for me to finally be with a man.)
“It’s just one drink. Never mind, just go.”
(Nothing ever works out for me y’know …)