A common question I get is “What makes NLP Marin different?” Or, “What’s so special about the CHANGE work you do (and your peers), Jon?”
I often am tempted to say that we provide some metaphorical antidote for “Awesomeness Amnesia”, something human beings are well-known for catching and sustaining upon attaining their terrestrial vessels of flesh and bone.
And, having perculated with the question for some time now, it is my observation that the main distinctions are best illustrated by demonstrating what we don’t presuppose about human beings.
A few common assertions made in the Personal Developemnt & Personal Growth space:
- We aren’t here on Earth to play a “small game”. Or, the assertion that you were here on earth to play a “BIGGER game.”
- You are here to become the BEST version of yourself.
My response is, “According to WHOM or WHAT? And smaller/bigger/better in comparison to what or whose standard, specifically?”
These comparative computations seduce most of us to think we must, should, or ought to be, do, or have something else. Which is not wrong. It is valid and natural to want more, have more, and extend ourselves in this life (and many lives).
However, to do that from a space of insufficiency, is like saying this: “How Can I Notice And Assert My ‘Lack-of’ so that I Can Eventually Be and Have ‘Enough’?”
That’s unworkable. In my experience with working with others, is it is much more useful to presuppose that being human is already the biggest game you can play, and you already are and have been the best versions of self you can have been. And you will continue to do so as you extend and grow thereon.
Our Selves are in the process of becoming always, and All-ways.
Of course, it is often a challenge to feel and understand that we are all doing the best we can, that we already are the BEST versions of ourselves (which can become better and better), especially if we continually struggle in our relationships, careers, businesses, finances, health, and personal image.
It can be considered quite an outrageous, even insensitive claim. to look at what you struggle with and don’t want, and say; “WOW! How brilliant I have been in generating and sustaining that in my life?!” (*Clap clap clap*)
But that is exactly what we do with Transformational NLP. And not always explicitly, but rather, in the internal stance we take in relating to ourselves and other humans.
When the client realizes that the biggest and best game they can play, is already what they have been doing each and every moment that has been, there is often a parasympathetic reset in their system demonstrated by an inhale and exhale of breath.
This is just one way we assist others in easing up on the war within. From this space, our creature neurology isn’t then so compelled to fight, flight, or freeze, in the face of opportunities to have things be better in life. There is space for re-deciciding and choice. Or as Carla Camou says, a re-solution.
We can go back to decisions and memories we made when we barely (if even) had a fully functioning neo and pre-frontal cortex (executive center) to better make sense of this crazy (and very very cool) thing called “being human.”
Put simply, none of us had the werewithal to read what Rumi or Alan Watts had to say, when we were at most capable of crying, eating, pooping, and sleeping.
Having this in mind though, gives us an opportunity to unveil the brilliance in our decision making processes under such circumstances. Decisions that are mostly made out of the desire to be safe and to belong with and those whose Love gave us life.
If you despise or dislike any decision and behavior you have demonstrates in your adult life, picture a 2, 3, or 4 year old who can demonstrate that behavior and make those decisions.
Likely, you would consider that little one a genius and beyond their years. This is what I believe a key element of perceiving the ‘extra’ in what’s often considered ‘ordinary’.