At 25 years of age, I wanted out!
I was s*ck of my job, and would rather speak to a wall than show up at work. But I didn’t want to let my father, mother, family and partner down by quitting. We were all pitching in to support each other after all.
When I first wanted to change careers and leave my job—I was plagued with thoughts such as:
- “I need the money!!”
- “What if I let my family and loved ones down?”
- “What if I fail?”
What I really wanted to do? Become a paid inspirational writer, and catalyze amazing changes in other peoples’ lives.
What I really needed? The confidence to make the jump. Someone to tell me, “No matter what you do … things will work out eventually. Give it a shot!”
No one told me that.
Instead, I was stuck in a job that was literally gift-wrapped slavery.
I was working in sales, making 90 cold calls a day. The time commitment? 75 hours per week. The promise? Financial freedom within 10 years.
One condition though – 90 cold calls were my KPI. They were non-negotiable.
With that sort of pressure to perform, I didn’t even have time to take a piss.
(It burns to hold it in!)
I made so many calls by 12:00 p.m. that my voice would be raspy, and I’d bolt to the toilet to relieve myself and let out the biggest sigh of relief ever.
That was the highlight of my day.
By 1:30pm, I’d repeat the process again.
Sad, I know.
Anyway. That evening, when I finally returned home to my beloved partner—I barely had enough energy to look her in the eye, and tell her “I love you.”
All I could think of was, “How the hell am I going to do tomorrow … again?”
It felt like mental slavery.
I didn’t care how good I had it with my job and being in a first-world country and all. Yes–people in other parts of the world probably have it worse. Certainly, many would have killed for my “privileged position.”
But it didn’t change the fact that I felt rotten inside. Like an apple with worms inside. No matter how shiny its coating is, or how sweet the rest of the fruit is … it’s still got friggin’ worms!
I digress. Back to the story.
So, lying in bed that night, my partner and I held hands. And I realized, all my good intentions to work in a potentially high paying role was back-firing. I wanted to spend time with her. Instead, the moments I had with her barely qualified as a loving relationship. I was more intimate with my headset at work.
“Honey, I’m quitting tomorrow. Screw that job. I don’t care how much they pay. I’ll find another way.” I tell her.
Barely awake, she softly responds, “Okay my love. Do it!”
Simple as that.
The next morning, I arrived at work at 7:30 a.m. and told my manager, “I quit. Bye.”
By 12:00 p.m. I packed my desk and walked out of the office. Outside, I took in a breath of fresh air and treated myself to the best lunch ever.
And I promise you—that felt better than taking an overdue piss. Sometimes the pain of staying just trumps the pain of changing.
What happened after? I’ll leave that for the next post 🙂
(P.S. Don’t quit your job unless it is that painful. It is much more sensible to plan your way out.)
(P.P.S. Love is a great motivator. I have to thank my partner from the bottom of my heart. She really did help me live a truer, more authentic life.)